I Release You.
It’s always interesting to look back over the course of a year. Often we do this at the end of a calendar year just as we are about to kick off a new one.
We reflect on all of the things we have done (or not done). We smile over the memories we have created, and are in awe of how fast the year might have flown by.
For the last couple of years I have been doing a practice but in regard to my birthday year. This practice hasn’t necessarily been a reflection, but instead a moment of release. That release is of the things that are no longer serving me. Things that I want to leave behind. Things that I will honor because, of course, just like anything else, they are a part of my story, but I have no interest in allowing them to move forward into the new chapter about to begin.
This last year included so many beautiful moments, and many challenging ones as well. But I don’t have to remind you of that though. You were there, experiencing your own version of these as well, weren’t you?
So what I decided to do this year was take my private release party to a place that means a lot to me. A sacred place that holds space for me when I need it most.
The ocean.
I find that the ocean helps ground me. It always helps bring me back to me. It is so simple. It is so pure. It is me, the sand and the waves. Just us.
There I sat as the waves crashed around me. Acknowledging what was sitting on my chest and heart that felt so heavy. The areas that hold me back. That often suck my energy dry. That cause me not to show up in the way I want or need to in my life. It came easy to me. I knew exactly what these areas were. I spoke many of them out loud, releasing them from my heart, into the world. Giving them back. No longer owning them. Allowing them to no longer take space in my body.
Then I took it to my journal. This I feel was the most powerful piece. I wrote each of the things down, with a phrase as simple as “You no longer have the power you once did over me. I release you.”
And just like that, it felt like the weight that once brought me to my knees, was outside of myself.
I felt different. I felt stronger.
The things I will leave behind?
The feeling of guilt, especially when it comes to making myself or my family a priority.
The sense of shame or ever doubting my knowing or true self.
The sense of needing to control all aspects of my life or others.
Caring too much about other people’s opinions, or if they are upset with me.
The need of anyone’s approval but my own and allowing anyone but myself to define my worth.
This private release party I held for my 39th birthday was everything I needed. I know that doing this practice does not simply make it all go away, but it has shifted my mindset from one of suffering to one of empowerment. This next chapter is going to be one of true freedom. I will feel the freedom and ability to become me. Unapologetically me. Take me or leave me, that’s up to you, but I am proud of the person I am becoming. And as long as I like me, that is what really matters.
This is possible for you too. Releasing what is no longer serving you is important. Tell me, what rises up for you when you think about this?
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