He Asked Me to Pause.

I don’t think my husband meant to do it, but once upon a time he deflated me. He asked me to pause on my dream. He asked me to stop moving forward with this idea that had been sitting on my heart for some time and refocus my priorities to align with what our family needed. I don’t think he meant to do it, but this knocked the wind right out of my sails. I hadn’t thought we weren’t aligned in our priorities, but maybe we weren’t? 

The thing is, by him telling me “not right now,” it made me long for this dream EVEN MORE. It made me want to chase it faster. So I did what any good wife would do.  

I did it anyway. 

I don’t mean that in a disrespectful way at all. You see, in his defense he wants our priorities to align, but what he didn’t realize was that they actually do. Our focus as a family is to pay off all of our debt. We want financial freedom, or as I like to call it, financial dignity. I get it, it’s important and a priority of mine too. I just want to do it in a different way. I want to add a little risk to the game and try it my way. 

Originally he loved that I had this dream and has absolutely been my number one cheerleader, but right now it feels too big to him. It feels too risky. We need something “safer” to get us there. 

You see, the difference between my husband and I is that I am more of a risk taker. I like to make waves and stir the pot a little. He on the other hand likes things to be safe. No waves please. Then you have me, the one that jumps right into the water, both feet first and most of the time right into the deep end. Not my husband, that would cause him way too much anxiety. He’s my yin to his yang. It’s why we are great partners! We push each other in amazing ways. 

Over the years it has become more apparent to me that I have had more of the mindset that I’ll figure it out as I go because I’ve always figured it out. It’s how I’m wired.

So, he asked me to pause. 

That next day I started doing all the research to find out what it would actually take to make my dream a reality. I started brainstorming who I already knew that was doing something similar that I could ask questions to. I jumped on the phone and started making all the calls. 

With every conversation I had, each took me down another path of information gathering. One person would speak to their area of expertise and then tell me how I needed to consider legal contracts or insurance. How I would need to consider what marketing my brand would look like. There were so many questions and even more information to gather. I was learning a ton! I just kept telling myself after every call that though this felt really big, it all seemed absolutely doable. I just KNEW I could do this.  

After about a week of information gathering I felt like I had enough information gathered to bring it back to my husband to show him that I really felt confident that this was the right move for our family. 

Here goes nothing!

I laid out my entire vision. All the research I had done. The cost associated, along with any potential risk. I told him about the interest of others that wanted to jump in with me. I told him all of the layers of information I had gathered and tried to answer all of his questions before he even had the opportunity to ask them himself. It was the craziest thing. As I was speaking to him, I felt my shoulders push back and my posture really settle into a confident stance. I actually knew what I was talking about. I had done so much flipping research and asked all the questions that I was CONFIDENTLY sitting here telling my husband that I had gone against what he had asked and did it anyway. The thing was, I believe with every ounce of my being that this is the right move for our family. I had a goal and a plan and I knew I could do it.

I paused and waited for his response. 

He bent over and kissed me. He told me how proud he was of me. He had NO questions. Not one. I had addressed them all. 

He told me to keep going. 

You guys, he told me to keep going! He told me that he knew this dream had been sitting on my heart and he believed me that this was something I needed to do. He told me he had a feeling if he asked me to pause, that maybe it would light a little fire in me to do it anyway. He believed in me and wanted to see me go for it. 

My heart almost jumped out of my chest. 

Listen, I could have paused or stopped when he first asked me to. I could have allowed his fear to put out the fire that sits on MY heart, but I didn’t. Instead, I took that sense of doubt and fear and I turned it into the fuel I needed to do the work. I didn’t know what I was going to find out. There was a chance I would have come to the conclusion that my idea was too crazy and too risky for my family, but I didn’t. Don’t get me wrong, it is going to be hard and it is going to take a lot of work, but I am willing to put in the work knowing the value it will add into this world. 

I have had this dream on my heart for some time now and I haven’t made it a priority in my life. I haven’t given it the attention that it truly deserves. It wasn’t until someone said “don’t do it” that I realized I NEEDED to do it. 

If you have something sitting on your heart, I want you to listen to it. It is there for a reason. Even if it seems too big, too audacious, too scary, write it down. Think about it. Do the research. Figure out what it is telling you. If someone told you no, take that as the fuel you needed to make that dream, YOUR dream, a reality. 

That dream? It is my coaching. This idea that I needed to walk alongside other women on their journey to show up as their best selves in this life. The idea that had someone been walking alongside me during my journey, that I may have gotten there sooner, or understood what was going on. That dream of mine is now a reality. It came true. I didn’t give up on myself and now I have the opportunity to show my community that they get to be their own superheroes in this life. That they are so much stronger than they give themselves credit for. 

Listen to your inner self. What is she telling you? Does she have a dream she wants to reach for? A life of more?